Sunday, March 6, 2011

Deja Vu.

Deja vu 
is the experience of feeling sure that one has already witnessed or experienced a current situation, even though the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain.

Four years ago, almost to the exact day, I was sitting in this same house (my momma's) and in this same chair with Jack, an infant at the time, cradled in my arms sound asleep. I was filled with pure exhaustion from being a brand new mother and having a baby that only slept for small increments during the night (still at about 9 weeks old). We were in the middle of a move (#2 with my husband's company) and we had not yet found a house that we could call a home. Pat was transitioning into his new job and was traveling three days each week for this position. And I was desperately trying to figure out how to be a mother and create a routine and still be Nicole while living in limbo. It was a stressful time in our lives and in our marriage. But, as I sat in that chair holding my sweet baby with the sun beaming through the windows onto my face, I was hopeful that life would work itself out. 

Fast-forward four years, I am sitting in the same house and in the same chair, now cuddling my four-year old Jack, who is asleep while my 2 year-old Owen is sound asleep in his crib. I am no longer filled with pure exhaustion and I am no longer a brand new mother (those both must go hand in hand?). We are in the middle of another move (#4) with Pat's company, however, this time we have found a house to call a home. We are living with my mom until it is ready for us in just the matter of weeks. Today, Pat and I know and understand each other so much more. We know what each others needs are in times of stress and we have perfected creating routine and stability in times of chaos. It is stressful (moving always is!), but each of us knows when to step in to help each other and the boys make it less stressful. This move is exciting because it gets us to the place where we want to be...where we want to raise our children. So on this day, as the sun beams shine through the windows and hit my face once again, I cannot help but be reflective on the past four years. It has been a roller coaster of events and emotions, but through it all I have truly learned so much about myself and I have grown and I am happy.

Truly happy!

No comments: